Happy Father’s Day! In honor of this groundbreaking article, which states, “Jude Law’s character in 2006 film The Holiday has been named the hottest film father in a recent poll,” I would like to talk about some Jude Law films that I’ve actually seen and liked (or would like to see, at least). Turns out he hasn’t done that many movies that pertain to my interests personally, but hey, he’s hot so who cares, right?

1. Alfie Just Kidding.

1. eXistenZ This might be the first Jude Law movie I’ve seen, and it’s certainly one I’d recommend. This sci-fi thriller is directed by the great David Cronenberg and has Jude playing a marketing trainee, stuck fleeing with the world’s leading virtual reality game creator, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, after a group of people try to kill her. I don’t want to give much away about the movie, but if you like weird stuff or are familiar with Cronenberg’s work, I would check it out. If not, proceed with caution.

2. Gattaca And I guess this must be the best Jude Law movie I’ve seen. In another flick from his sci-fi days, Jude plays a genetically superior man to Ethan Hawke’s character (big stretch), who is not genetically engineered like the rest of them and therefore gets crapped on by modern society. Therefore, Hawke sets out to impersonate Law, whose suicide-attempt left him paralyzed from the waist down and super bummed out. Luckily, money solves everything, so Law is all set to sell his identity to Hawke, which isn’t quite as easy as either of them may be hoping for. With a classy blend of drama and sci-fi, this movie stretches far beyond a simple popcorn flick. Highly recommended.

3. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus Perhaps best known as Heath Ledger’s final and unfinished performance, Jude, along with Johnny Depp and Colin Farrel stepped in to play the remainder of Ledger’s character for the scenes he was not able to complete. These scenes take place inside the imaginarium, which is an imaginary world created by Doctor Parnassus as part of a traveling show to the public. Directed by another great, Terry Gilliam, this movie is certainly a trip.

4. Repo Men I haven’t seen this movie yet, but was glad to hear Jude was revisiting the sci-fi genre, something that could have helped his street cred 5 or so years ago. As far as I know, the movie is set in the future where artificial organs can be bought on credit. Need a new heart? Sure, just sign this form. Six months later… Oh, you can’t pay for it? We’ll have to send Jude Law and Forest Whitaker in to get that heart back. Sorry dude! The movie should be something along those lines.

5. Sherlock Holmes This is another on my to-see list. This is one of those movies I’ll have to force myself to see, however. I mean, I’m sure it will be fun and entertaining, but I’ve never cared about Sherlock Holmes in the first place. Still, it’s nice to see Jude playing a character that isn’t a sex-god (unless we have differing opinions on the character of Doctor Watson… I guess I should see the movie before I talk). Plus, Robert Downey Jr’s been hitting it out of the park lately, with films like Zodiac and Iron Man. I hear the chemistry between Law and Downey is legit, so hopefully the movie will not disappoint!

No, I’m afraid I’m not going to be talking about the Whoopie Goldberg movie, but instead a film that I found to be a very successful sequel to an already solid achievement in monumental filmmaking. Of course, I could only be talking about Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. We only recently received a copy of this movie, and I only remembered foggy blips of it from the last time I saw it, but with my owning Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, I knew I had to give this movie a fresh spin (in my DVD player, that is… HAHAHAHALOLROFLTH)

So anyway, Bill and Ted are pretty well-known as the masterfully 80s spaced-out slacker teens played by Keanu Reeves and the legendary Alex Winter, who not only reprises his award-winning role of Bill S. Preston, Esq., but also that of Granny Preston. While the first Bill & Ted film, Excellent Adventure, delved into the heavily controversial topic of time travel, and featured appearances by Socrates and Beethoven, Bogus Journey travels down darker roads, where evil Bill and Ted cybernetic organisms are sent back in time to terminate the two future-rockstars whose music is destined to one day unite the world. Do Bill and Ted make it out of this “hell” of a situation? Spoiler alert, they totally don’t. They go to Hell. Which is why I used the quotation marks around “hell”… See, I did it again.

So if you, like me, are curious what happens to Bill and Ted in the deep depthy depths of the underworld of non-living death, you should probably check out Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. It may not be on par with sequels like Terminator 2 or The Dark Knight, but maybe it is…

I found an old German/English translation book behind a dumpster at this bar on Capitol hill a few weeks ago. I decided to translate my “horrible film outing” story into a new language. Please cut and paste this into google translate if you cannot understand German.

Es scheint, habe ich immer eingereicht immer weh, wenn man zu einem Film zu sehen. Das ist was mir passiert ist letzte Woche. Bitte genießen Sie diese deutsche Ausgabe.

Der Avatar; (2009) war ich sehr glücklich zu sein Sehen des Films! Es wurde in 3-D, die ich genossen, als sie sahen Jaws 3-D gezeigt. Damals zeigen ein junges Mädchen sperrte mich aus dem Theater nackt, aber es war trotzdem lustig zu sehen. Ich wollte ins Theater, wenn die Kassiererin mir mitgeteilt, sie waren zu Fuß aus dem neuen 3-D-Brille.

Ich wählte den Film ohne Brille zu sehen. Dies würde sich als eine schlechte Wahl sein. Ich ging ins Kino mit meiner Moutian Dew und ein großes Feld von Twizzlers. Bevor ich sitzen konnte unten hörte ich eine Stimme rufen: “Sieht aus wie dickweed seine Brille vergessen. Es war mein Bully Ryan  Carter. Bevor ich ein Wort sagen konnte er ein paar alte 3-D-Brille aufgesetzt aus den 1980er Jahren auf meinem Gesicht. Ich habe versucht, sie ausziehen nur zu finden, sie waren super zu mir ins Gesicht geklebt. Einige der Kleber auch hielt meine Augen geschlossen. Ich war blind!

Da fing ich an, Panik, schrie Ich mag ein Baby. Ich konnte nichts sehen, aber ich könnte mir das ganze Theater über mich lachen hören. Ich könnte auch fühle mich durch eine Tür geschoben. Ich ging um blind für eine Weile. Ich hoffte auf ein vertrautes Geräusch zu hören. Ich tat.  Verkehr!

Das Krankenhaus Kosten waren sehr hoch. Der Klebstoff hatte meine Augen ruiniert. Ich würde erfordern zahlreiche Operationen, bevor ich wieder sehen konnte. Ich hatte kein Geld. Ich war gezwungen, zwei Arbeitsplätze zu erhalten; Red Lobster & TGI Fridays. Ich war Hausmeister an beiden.

Wenn jemand weiß, wie die neue Where’s Waldo? Buch endet, lass es mich wissen.