First film. Say Anything. That’s right. Anything you want. This pretty picture features John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler, an average day teen, chillin’ in Seattle, graduating and all that. College is surely on everyone’s minds, sept for Lloyd, whose main concern regards asking out the super smart and popular Diane Court. Featuring that one scene and directed by Cameron Crowe, this movie helped set the 80s as the decade for teenage tomfoolery. Fun fact: when Lloyd drives down 45th, he passes the Guild 45th theater which happens to be playing another Cusack flick, Tapeheads. Reality just got pretty crazy in this mud!

Second film. 12 Monkeys. Originally not conceived as a TV biopic based around the casting dilemmas behind a fictionalized 1960s pop group, 12 Monkeys was eventually adapted by Terry Gilliam as a futuristic sci-fi thriller where a virus has killed millions and survivors such as Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt must live underground. A bunch of stuff happens. Fun fact: Director Gilliam gave Bruce Willis a list of “Willis acting clichés” that he was refused to use during filming (such as the “steely blue eyes look”).

Third film. Memento. Directed by one of my favorites, Christopher Nolan, this film is a crazy ride where Guy Pearce repeatedly loses his short-term memory, relying on sticky notes to remember just what the hell he’s been up to. Throw in some mystery and murder and you’ve got yourself a fascinating driller (drama-thriller… insanely clever, i know). Fun fact: Christopher Nolan originally wanted Alec Baldwin for Guy Pearce’s roll. Let me tell you, it’s a good thing they didn’t have any costumes fitted for the character beforehand… Because Alec Baldwin is pretty large and Guy Pearce isn’t. Okay, not funny. Moving on.

Fourth Film. White Chicks. Directed by Kenan Ivory Wayans, this film features his brothers Shawn and Marlon as two kind of crappy FBI agents who are told to go undercover in an abduction case by disguising themselves as the daughters of a tycoon (hence, “white chicks”). What could possibly go wrong? Fun Fact: The original title of the movie was called the Miltons, in attempts to showcase a more direct spoof of the Hilton family.

Fifth Film. No. Fifth TV Show. No. First TV Show. The Kids in the Hall: Season 1. A wonderous sketch comedy show anyone my age should recognize from reruns on Comedy Central, this Canadian sketch comedy show originally aired in 1988 under the guise of Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels. Most of the sketch comedy is wild and out there, reminiscent of Shakespeare, with most female roles being commandeered by the all-male cast. Great late 80s/early 90s comedy. Fun fact: The name of the troupe comes from comic personality Sid Caesar, who, when telling a joke that didn’t go over well, attributed it to “the kids in the hall”.

1. Alfie Just Kidding.

1. eXistenZ This might be the first Jude Law movie I’ve seen, and it’s certainly one I’d recommend. This sci-fi thriller is directed by the great David Cronenberg and has Jude playing a marketing trainee, stuck fleeing with the world’s leading virtual reality game creator, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, after a group of people try to kill her. I don’t want to give much away about the movie, but if you like weird stuff or are familiar with Cronenberg’s work, I would check it out. If not, proceed with caution.

2. Gattaca And I guess this must be the best Jude Law movie I’ve seen. In another flick from his sci-fi days, Jude plays a genetically superior man to Ethan Hawke’s character (big stretch), who is not genetically engineered like the rest of them and therefore gets crapped on by modern society. Therefore, Hawke sets out to impersonate Law, whose suicide-attempt left him paralyzed from the waist down and super bummed out. Luckily, money solves everything, so Law is all set to sell his identity to Hawke, which isn’t quite as easy as either of them may be hoping for. With a classy blend of drama and sci-fi, this movie stretches far beyond a simple popcorn flick. Highly recommended.

3. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus Perhaps best known as Heath Ledger’s final and unfinished performance, Jude, along with Johnny Depp and Colin Farrel stepped in to play the remainder of Ledger’s character for the scenes he was not able to complete. These scenes take place inside the imaginarium, which is an imaginary world created by Doctor Parnassus as part of a traveling show to the public. Directed by another great, Terry Gilliam, this movie is certainly a trip.

4. Repo Men I haven’t seen this movie yet, but was glad to hear Jude was revisiting the sci-fi genre, something that could have helped his street cred 5 or so years ago. As far as I know, the movie is set in the future where artificial organs can be bought on credit. Need a new heart? Sure, just sign this form. Six months later… Oh, you can’t pay for it? We’ll have to send Jude Law and Forest Whitaker in to get that heart back. Sorry dude! The movie should be something along those lines.

5. Sherlock Holmes This is another on my to-see list. This is one of those movies I’ll have to force myself to see, however. I mean, I’m sure it will be fun and entertaining, but I’ve never cared about Sherlock Holmes in the first place. Still, it’s nice to see Jude playing a character that isn’t a sex-god (unless we have differing opinions on the character of Doctor Watson… I guess I should see the movie before I talk). Plus, Robert Downey Jr’s been hitting it out of the park lately, with films like Zodiac and Iron Man. I hear the chemistry between Law and Downey is legit, so hopefully the movie will not disappoint!

Ralpie’s Mother in A Christmas Story is probably the worrying, gently nurturing mom we all had, or wish we had. When she tells Ralphie’s brother Randy not to play with his food and that starving people would love to have it, you know she’s just thinking of her son’s welfare. And the same is true when she breaks Ralphie’s heart and denies his request for an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle by saying “No, you’ll shoot your eye out.” Never mind that she turns out to be pretty much right about that.

Dan O’Banion wrote Dark Star in 1974. It’s a sci-fi/comedy cult favorite about a ship in the far reaches of space whose crew has unwittingly brought a deadly alien aboard the ship that proceeds to run amok and kill most of the crew. In 1979, he did it again, but Alien was quite a bit less funny. In both movies, however, the computer that runs the ship is called Mother. She’s a lot nicer in Dark Star than she is in this scene from Alien:

Ripley: Mother! I’ve turned the cooling unit back on. Mother!
Mother: The ship will automatically destruct in T minus five minutes.
Ripley: You… BITCH!

Jay And Silent Bob’s Mothers may not have been the best, but I like to think they shaped their sons into… yeah, that’s a load. The opening scene in Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back is just really funny to me, though I’m gonna have to do some editing for language (big surprise there). For the record, no babies were harmed in the filming of this scene:

Silent Bob’s Mother: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, ‘kay? Here, this will keep the sun out of your eyes. [she puts a baseball cap on his head backwards]
Silent Bob’s Mother: You be good, now. [she walks into the store, then Jay and his Mom arrive]
Jay’s Mother: Alright, don’t you f***in’ move you little sh*t machine. Your Momma’s going to try to score.  [she starts to walk into the store]
Passerby: What the hell? ‘Scuse me. Who’s watching these babies?
Jay’s Mother: Uh… the fat one’s watchin’ the little one?
Passerby: Oh yeah, nice parenting. Leave ‘em out here like that and see what happens.
Jay’s Mother: YO, F*** YOU YOU F***ING SQUARE!
Passerby: Oh yeah, keep on truckin’!
Jay’s Mother: [to baby Jay] Did ya hear that f***in’ guy tellin’ me how to f***n’ raise ya? What a motherf***er, man! Who the f*** does that f***in’ guy think he is? What’s the worst f***in’ thing that can f***in’ happen to ya just standing outside a f***in’ store, right? F***! [Jay's mother walks into the record store, leaving baby Jay and baby Silent Bob in their strollers]
Baby Jay: F***… f***… f***… f***…

My wife loves-LOVES-Adam Baldwin. I think he’s pretty swell, too, and I really enjoy him in Firefly (and Serenity), Chuck and in the last few episodes of Angel. What I didn’t remember, because I haven’t seen it in a million years, is that Adam Baldwin is also the lean, mean, killing machine known as Animal Mother in Full Metal Jacket. I’m thinking I need to revisit this classic war/anti-war movie. This quote from Animal Mother sums him up pretty well: “What do I think about the U.S. involvement in the war? We should win it.”

And finally, my favorite Mother of them all: Dan Aykroyd as the paranoid conspiracy buff Darren “Mother” Roskow in Sneakers. One of my all-time favoritest movies ever, Sneakers is all about a super-secret code-breaking machine and the people who are out to get it. Switcheroos, con-games, sneaky spy stuff, comedy… it’s all here. And the cast! Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, David Strathairn, River Phoenix, Mary McDonnell, Donal Logue, James Earl Jones, Ben Kingsley and, of course, Dan Aykroyd.  “We got bupkis! We turn ourselves in now, they’ll give us twenty years in the electric chair!”

There you have it, a Take Five look at Movie Mothers. What? Oh, you were expecting something a little more traditional? Yeah… no.

Happy Mother’s Day all you moms and wives out there!

Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly the perfect transition into my mother’s day weekend post I was hoping for, but what better actor to ring in the holiday with than Danny McBride? After Dazzling audiences with his stunning performance of Rico in Hot Rod, McBride stepped away from his independent roots (All the Real Girls; The Foot Fist Way) into more serious roles, working with such Hollywood royalty such as George Clooney and Julie Andrews. Now at the top of his game, you can expect to see McBride in future classics Despicable Me, Your Highness, and more. Looking to fill in the gaps in your McBridefest 2010? Well, grab your mother and get on down to Moviecycle to find one of these fine cinematic McBride rides! And hey, if it’s sold out, ask us about special ordering or getting on the reserve list!

1. Hot Rod. Truly a cinematic masterpiece. By far the best comedy of 2007. McBride shines in this break-out role of Rico, the mechanic to stunt-superstar-wannabe Rod (Andy Samberg). Will Rico help Rod achieve his dreams? “I’m freakin pumped! I’ve been drinking green tea all goddamn day!”, Rico shouts excitedly.

2. Pineapple Express. Another stunning performance, this time with McBride tackling the diverse role of Red. Will Red be a saving grace to on-the-run innocents Dale and Saul (Seth Rogen and James Franco)? Or is Red pumping some dangerous iron up his sleeves (not a drug reference)? “I’m like the nerd at the sleepover who fell asleep at nine,” Red blushes.

3. Tropic Thunder. Cast along comedy heavyweights Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and even Robert DJ, McBride shames his A-list counterparts with his portrayal of Cody, the special effects specialist for the fictional film the characters are shooting on location in Vietnam. “Damian, what’s the dealie dude? Are we gonna blow up this tree line or what?”, Cody inquires.

4. The Foot Fist Way. Back from McBride’s independent days, The Foot Fist Way is both a gripping and harrowing look into the industry of childrens’ karate instruction. McBride is explosive in his role as Fred Simmons, whose goal is to be the best karate teacher this side of America. “Dentistry? I can’t even believe that’s something that’s real,” Simmons defends.

5. Eastbound & Down. McBride collaborates again with frequent collaborator Jody Hill (The Foot Fist Way, Observe and Report) in this gripping look into fictional baseball star (and ex-Seattle Mariner) Kenny Powers, whose efforts to raise his career from the dead are both fascinating and lovely. Airing on HBO, the show’s first season can be found on DVD for the rest of us. “I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism,” Kenny swoons.

1. Paul Thomas Anderson. Yeah, I like Paul. Maybe it’s because he’s married. Maybe it’s because all of his movies are amazing. Maybe it’s because he likes Radiohead. Maybe it’s because he likes footlong subs. Who knows? Well, it’s actually because his movies are amazing and I’d recommend every one of them. I’m actually appalled that we have copies of Punch-Drunk Love and There Will Be Blood in stock because you great people need to get off your lazy butts and purchase them. No, don’t rent them, they must be owned! Okay, maybe you should rent them if you’re unsure. But hey, why don’t you purchase it from us, watch it, and then decide if you want it to be a rental or not. You know we’re cool with it!

2. Paul Rudd. Yeah, I like Paul. He’s in a lot of cool movies. I don’t even think I need to name any because they’re all good. Some of his movies I’ve enjoyed are Anchorman, The Baxter, Clueless, Diggers, Fast Track, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The 40 Year Old Virgin, I Could Never Be Your Woman, I Love You Man, Overnight Delivery, Role Models, Romeo + Juliet, The Ten, Walk Hard, and Wet Hot American Summer.

3. Paul Montgomery Shore. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m a fan. To be honest, Encino Man was great but that doesn’t mean I like Paul Montgomery Shore. Yeah, that’s his name. Shore, Paul Montgomery. You know the one. “Excellentè!” Wait, that was Teddy on Pete and Pete. Fudge… I don’t know. Pauly Shore is Dead is another movie.

4. Paul Giamatti. Brilliant Actor. Big Fat Liar = Big Fat Oscar. Big Mommas House = Big Millionaire House. He also loves the letter S… Sabrina, Safe Men, Saving Private Ryan (AKA Safe Men 2), Shoot ‘Em Up, Sideways, Singles,  Storytelling… All big fat shoe-ins for a good Giamatti gathering! No, but seriously, he’s pretty good…

5. Paul Newman. The legend who used my hometown of Carnation to set up a camp for sick children. Pretty legit, Paul. He’s also starred in some of the greatest movies ever made, including Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Cool Hand Luke, and Cars. But seriously (I never saw Cars), the man was a screen legend, a natural do-gooder, and he has about the most classic name ever (take that, Lincoln!). He may be gone, but he’s still the coolest.