Last year, I was on a trip to Hawaii and a police officer pulled me over. His name was Paul. Paul Pfeiffer. FBI. Fussy Boy Inspector. What? I know, I lie. But here you go, my 5 fav Pauls!

1. Paul Thomas Anderson. Yeah, I like Paul. Maybe it’s because he’s married. Maybe it’s because all of his movies are amazing. Maybe it’s because he likes Radiohead. Maybe it’s because he likes footlong subs. Who knows? Well, it’s actually because his movies are amazing and I’d recommend every one of them. I’m actually appalled that we have copies of Punch-Drunk Love and There Will Be Blood in stock because you great people need to get off your lazy butts and purchase them. No, don’t rent them, they must be owned! Okay, maybe you should rent them if you’re unsure. But hey, why don’t you purchase it from us, watch it, and then decide if you want it to be a rental or not. You know we’re cool with it!

2. Paul Rudd. Yeah, I like Paul. He’s in a lot of cool movies. I don’t even think I need to name any because they’re all good. Some of his movies I’ve enjoyed are Anchorman, The Baxter, Clueless, Diggers, Fast Track, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The 40 Year Old Virgin, I Could Never Be Your Woman, I Love You Man, Overnight Delivery, Role Models, Romeo + Juliet, The Ten, Walk Hard, and Wet Hot American Summer.

3. Paul Montgomery Shore. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m a fan. To be honest, Encino Man was great but that doesn’t mean I like Paul Montgomery Shore. Yeah, that’s his name. Shore, Paul Montgomery. You know the one. “Excellentè!” Wait, that was Teddy on Pete and Pete. Fudge… I don’t know. Pauly Shore is Dead is another movie.

4. Paul Giamatti. Brilliant Actor. Big Fat Liar = Big Fat Oscar. Big Mommas House = Big Millionaire House. He also loves the letter S… Sabrina, Safe Men, Saving Private Ryan (AKA Safe Men 2), Shoot ‘Em Up, Sideways, Singles,  Storytelling… All big fat shoe-ins for a good Giamatti gathering! No, but seriously, he’s pretty good…

5. Paul Newman. The legend who used my hometown of Carnation to set up a camp for sick children. Pretty legit, Paul. He’s also starred in some of the greatest movies ever made, including Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Cool Hand Luke, and Cars. But seriously (I never saw Cars), the man was a screen legend, a natural do-gooder, and he has about the most classic name ever (take that, Lincoln!). He may be gone, but he’s still the coolest.

That’s right, the beloved director of such films as Ran, Sanjuro, Yojimbo, Dreams, The Hidden Fortress, Rashomon and The Seven Samurai would be one hundred years old today if he were still alive. We don’t actually have any of those titles, so I will instead distract you with this dazzling display of cinematic treasures we’ve just uncovered.

Monty Python fan? We’ve got you covered with all 14 zany crazy volumes of Monty Python’s Flying Circus! Also, Monty Python And The Holy Grail, The Meaning Of Life and Terry Gilliam’s mind-bending Brazil. And speaking of mind-bending and Terry Gilliam, how’sabout the Criterion Collection version of Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. Yup, we got that.

Music fans may be interested in Tenacious D: The Complete Masterworks, The Clash: West Way To The World, The Essential Clash or maybe Pink Floyd: The Dark Side Of The Moon, a 2003 release that takes an in-depth look into the creation of one of rock’s timeless recordings.

Maybe you want to get your 80s on: The Breakfast Club, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Fletch and the sequel Fletch Lives, Animal House and one of my all-time favorites: The Blues Brothers.

But wait, there’s more! Rob Zombie’s House Of 1000 Corpses, the two-disc super special edition version of Se7en, Army Of Darkness, Soylent Green, Logan’s Run, The Andromeda Strain (a movie that terrified me when I saw it as a youngster) First Spaceship On Venus/Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet (double feature) and the mother of all crappy movies: Plan 9 From Outer Space (includes The Ed Wood Story with Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Ed Wood’s wife Dolores Fuller and even Vampira herself!).

Want more? Good! Humphrey Bogart, Edward G. Robinson and Lauren Bacall smolder in Key Largo, Charlton Heston does what he does best in Ben Hur, Jack Nicholson chews it up in Five Easy Pieces and Chinatown, Paul Newman broods in Hud and The Hustler and Alec Guinness, Anthony Quinn and Omar Sharif star in the sweeping epic Lawrence Of Arabia in a two-disc super-special limited edition.

Not finished just yet, but I’m getting there: Fan-favorites Die Hard, The Road Warrior and Fight Club, plus The Last Of The Mohicans and the classics The Conversation (later remade as Enemy Of The State) and High Noon starring Gary Cooper. A couple anime’ titles: Amon Saga and Appleseed, a tongue-in-cheek look back at “educational” films of yore in Social Engineering 201 (which touches on classic 16 mm films shown to schoolchildren from the 1940s to the 1970s like It Must Be The Neighbors and What To Do On A Date), and finally, a blaxploitation triple feature: Bad Azz Muthaz featuring Black Punisher (Jim Brown), Tattoo Connection (Jim Kelly) and Kid Vengeance (Fred Williamson). Ohhh yeah.

There’s a lot more than that, but my typin’ fingers hurt, so come on in and take a look at the Wall O’ Cool and see what strikes your fancy.