Greetings dear readers and happy Mother’s Day. I’m here in “the office” today so Jessica can have her day (I have been comped with a lovely bacon/spinach/feta quiche, so I’m not complaining at all). In honor of Mother’s Day, here’s a Take Five on the theme of Movie Mothers.

Ralpie’s Mother in A Christmas Story is probably the worrying, gently nurturing mom we all had, or wish we had. When she tells Ralphie’s brother Randy not to play with his food and that starving people would love to have it, you know she’s just thinking of her son’s welfare. And the same is true when she breaks Ralphie’s heart and denies his request for an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle by saying “No, you’ll shoot your eye out.” Never mind that she turns out to be pretty much right about that.

Dan O’Banion wrote Dark Star in 1974. It’s a sci-fi/comedy cult favorite about a ship in the far reaches of space whose crew has unwittingly brought a deadly alien aboard the ship that proceeds to run amok and kill most of the crew. In 1979, he did it again, but Alien was quite a bit less funny. In both movies, however, the computer that runs the ship is called Mother. She’s a lot nicer in Dark Star than she is in this scene from Alien:

Ripley: Mother! I’ve turned the cooling unit back on. Mother!
Mother: The ship will automatically destruct in T minus five minutes.
Ripley: You… BITCH!

Jay And Silent Bob’s Mothers may not have been the best, but I like to think they shaped their sons into… yeah, that’s a load. The opening scene in Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back is just really funny to me, though I’m gonna have to do some editing for language (big surprise there). For the record, no babies were harmed in the filming of this scene:

Silent Bob’s Mother: Bobby Boy, stay here while mommy picks up the free cheese, ‘kay? Here, this will keep the sun out of your eyes. [she puts a baseball cap on his head backwards]
Silent Bob’s Mother: You be good, now. [she walks into the store, then Jay and his Mom arrive]
Jay’s Mother: Alright, don’t you f***in’ move you little sh*t machine. Your Momma’s going to try to score.  [she starts to walk into the store]
Passerby: What the hell? ‘Scuse me. Who’s watching these babies?
Jay’s Mother: Uh… the fat one’s watchin’ the little one?
Passerby: Oh yeah, nice parenting. Leave ‘em out here like that and see what happens.
Jay’s Mother: YO, F*** YOU YOU F***ING SQUARE!
Passerby: Oh yeah, keep on truckin’!
Jay’s Mother: [to baby Jay] Did ya hear that f***in’ guy tellin’ me how to f***n’ raise ya? What a motherf***er, man! Who the f*** does that f***in’ guy think he is? What’s the worst f***in’ thing that can f***in’ happen to ya just standing outside a f***in’ store, right? F***! [Jay's mother walks into the record store, leaving baby Jay and baby Silent Bob in their strollers]
Baby Jay: F***… f***… f***… f***…

My wife loves-LOVES-Adam Baldwin. I think he’s pretty swell, too, and I really enjoy him in Firefly (and Serenity), Chuck and in the last few episodes of Angel. What I didn’t remember, because I haven’t seen it in a million years, is that Adam Baldwin is also the lean, mean, killing machine known as Animal Mother in Full Metal Jacket. I’m thinking I need to revisit this classic war/anti-war movie. This quote from Animal Mother sums him up pretty well: “What do I think about the U.S. involvement in the war? We should win it.”

And finally, my favorite Mother of them all: Dan Aykroyd as the paranoid conspiracy buff Darren “Mother” Roskow in Sneakers. One of my all-time favoritest movies ever, Sneakers is all about a super-secret code-breaking machine and the people who are out to get it. Switcheroos, con-games, sneaky spy stuff, comedy… it’s all here. And the cast! Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, David Strathairn, River Phoenix, Mary McDonnell, Donal Logue, James Earl Jones, Ben Kingsley and, of course, Dan Aykroyd.  “We got bupkis! We turn ourselves in now, they’ll give us twenty years in the electric chair!”

There you have it, a Take Five look at Movie Mothers. What? Oh, you were expecting something a little more traditional? Yeah… no.

Happy Mother’s Day all you moms and wives out there!

I’ve been meaning to weigh in with my Guilty Pleasures post, but I’ve been kinda wrapped up with behind-the-scenes blog stuff this week. I do hope you’re all enjoying the addition of a searchable  inventory.  Now that we have that feature working, it’s time for me to play.

Like Geoff, I doubt that I might feel “guilty” over these choices, but I do recognize that they may not be movies many people would admit to liking. My tastes are my own, and I’m okay with that. My primary expectation from any movie is that I’ll be entertained and I have to admit I’m easily amused. But hey, enough of my yakkin’. Whaddaya say? Let’s boogie!

So the boys all wrote what 5 films they would take if stuck on an island.

I would be totally annoyed with any movie if I only had 5 to choose from and nothing else! Variety is even the spice of island life!

But….here are 5 films I can watch repeatedly without becoming too disgusted.

Ocean’s Eleven – Steven Soderbergh’s 2001 remake of a 1960 heist film. Even though the following sequels kind of ruined the coolness of this first one by making us OD on the plot lines, I am still tickled watching the story of Danny Ocean and his 10 partners in crime rob snotty Andy Garcia’s fabulous Vegas casinos. The cast has great chemistry, the photography and editing are flawless, and the jokes are intelligent.

Dazed and Confused -Richard Linklater’s tale of the last day of school in a small Texas town during 1976. A collection of intertwining stories of a group of kids embarking on their senior year with freshman hazing, tons of weed, and a kick-ass soundtrack. Also the only time I have found Matthew McConaughey tolerable. “L-I-V-I-N”

Dogma – My favorite Kevin Smith movie! Two angels who have been banished from Heaven find a loophole in Catholicism to get themselves back in. Only problem is, if they do, they will unmake existence! A cast of crazy characters try to stop them and swear a lot while challenging every bible story you know. I heart this one big time.

The Lost Boys – 1987. The first scary movie I recall seeing in a theater. Bad 80’s clothes, two Coreys, and vampires with baby faces. I know every line of dialogue in this film….so it is kind of annoying to watch it with me.

Better Off Dead- John Cusack repeatedly tries to kill himself because his girlfriend broke up with him in this hilarious 1985 movie. How anyone could break up with John Cusack is beyond me.

Runners up: Sixteen Candles, The Goonies, Stand By Me….what can I say? I love the 80’s!